http://www.sportsnipe.com Virginia Cavaliers NCAA Basketball, Team News, Updates, and Stats from all sports sources, updated continually. http://www.sportsnipe.com/main_sportsnews/2941391/bennetts-recruits-get-solid-summer-work-in.html Tony Bennett has been hard at work recruiting throughout the summer and while he's been out shaping the future, the newest Cavaliers were on grounds getting a head start. Virginia Cavaliers NCAA Basketball - Sport Snipe - Team News - Stats - Updates http://www.sportsnipe.com/main_sportsnews/2941390/uva-senior-walkon-will-sherrill-earns-cavalier-basketball-scholarship.html The college basketball season is still a couple months away, but when it starts, UVA's Will Sherrill, for the first time, won't be a walk on. Virginia Cavaliers NCAA Basketball - Sport Snipe - Team News - Stats - Updates http://www.sportsnipe.com/main_sportsnews/2941389/kentucky-basketball-look-down-schedule-sea-blue-blog.html Kentucky Basketball: A Look Down The ScheduleA Sea of Blue (blog)The Oklahoma Sooners, and/or Virginia Cavaliers and Washington Huskies are some quality opponents to be playing early in the season, particularly Washington ...and more » Virginia Cavaliers NCAA Basketball - Sport Snipe - Team News - Stats - Updates http://www.sportsnipe.com/main_sportsnews/2941388/surgeon-lists-7bd-in-shaker-heights-more-blockshopper.html BlockshopperSurgeon lists 7BD in Shaker Heights [more]BlockshopperHe most recently was assistant general manager and vice president of basketball operations with the Cavaliers. Prior to that, he held a number of roles with ...and more » Virginia Cavaliers NCAA Basketball - Sport Snipe - Team News - Stats - Updates http://www.sportsnipe.com/main_sportsnews/2941387/mike-london-impressed-southern-californias-team-speed-washington-post-blog.html Mike London impressed with Southern California's team speedWashington Post (blog)The Cavaliers are hoping things go better this time around. The 52-7 thrashing USC delivered to Virginia at Scott Stadium in 2008 wasn't fun for any of the ...and more » Virginia Cavaliers NCAA Basketball - Sport Snipe - Team News - Stats - Updates http://www.sportsnipe.com/main_sportsnews/2941386/tuesdays-college-roundup-caa-extends-contract-to-keep-mens-basketball-daily-press.html Tuesday's college roundup: CAA extends contract to keep men's basketball ...Daily PressShe scored six goals in two wins for the third-ranked Cavaliers (4-0), including four against Old Dominion. CNU (3-1) rose two places to No. ...and more » Virginia Cavaliers NCAA Basketball - Sport Snipe - Team News - Stats - Updates http://www.sportsnipe.com/main_sportsnews/2941385/201011-schedule-announcement-seminolescom.html msnbc.com2010-11 Schedule AnnouncementSeminoles.comThe Cavaliers, Hurricanes, Tigers, Duke, North Carolina, Maryland and Georgia Tech all come play at the Donald L. Tucker Center. "The ACC is historically ...Adjust font sizeAthlonSports.comall 57 news articles » Virginia Cavaliers NCAA Basketball - Sport Snipe - Team News - Stats - Updates http://www.sportsnipe.com/main_sportsnews/2941384/uva-womens-basketball-schedule-released-charlottesville-daily-progress.html UVa women's basketball schedule releasedCharlottesville Daily Progress5-7, will pit the Cavaliers against Iowa State, West Virginia and TCU. The home schedule includes league games with Boston College, Duke, Florida State, ... Virginia Cavaliers NCAA Basketball - Sport Snipe - Team News - Stats - Updates http://www.sportsnipe.com/main_sportsnews/2941383/everyone-choose-sides.html Don't worry, the DipSet Christmas album review is coming. You absolutely have to love Jim Jones; only he can release something like "Jim Jones Presents: A DipSet XMas" and only have the first five songs be about the actual holiday. Seriously...by track six, he's calling out "bitches," "faggots" and the "hip-hop police."Not only that, but he has three "bonus tracks" on there. I'm always against classifying something as "hidden tracks" or "bonus" or whatever; it always seems like a cop-out to me. If it wasn't good enough for the album or it didn't quite mesh, make it a B-side. Why did Jones call these "bonus tracks"? Because he felt they didn't fit in the narrative?And yes, there's a song called "Ballin' On XMas." And yes, it's a reinterpretation of Run-DMC's "Christmas In Hollis." One can make the argument that by playing this song about 10,000 times every December, BET has ensured that it'll end up being the most influential song the group has ever made. There's a good chance I've seen that one video more than any other in my lifetime. And the dough was for me! Jim Jones- "Ballin' On XMas"In the meantime, might as well let you in on the second-most important ranking process of the year. We'll leave the BCS out of this for now, because that's its own post. I get the feeling that Florida is going to go up against Ohio State and get a beatdown of mythic proportions, which is a good thing, because I need all 5,324 Michigan blogs out there to bitch about it. Gotta kill the time until next season some way or another. Just remember, Florida fans: the last time you won a national championship, it was in a rematch. The ironing, as they say, is delicious.But anyways, I just had to turn in my Top 20 albums list for Stylus, and while #1 hasn't moved since March, there's a bunch of jostling in the teens that will make me instantly regret the list five days from now. To be honest, I couldn't put much thought into the singles list, because no one ever really remembers that shit. My favorite song can change at the drop of a hat, and if I was given another week to make the list, I bet "Reppin' Time" wouldn't have ranked so high. I have to remind myself that they (I didn't vote) made "Since You Been Gone" as the winner of 2005, though I probably would've groused on the message board how it ripped off "The City."The Dismemberment Plan- "The City"(that's right...we know how to use Sendspace now)You want to know how quickly it was patched together? I had to put "Chain Hang Low" as my #11 and I still don't know if I actually like it. I'm thinking that Jeff and I should've bloc voted just to get "Fry That Chicken" in there. That would've been fun. But really, I'm not so certain what's so bad about the song. It's easily my favorite track by a woman who used to be a dude since "Oh." And moreover, in the end, it's about frying chicken. How does liking fried chicken end up being more embarrassing than your average DipSet song, which manages to place black people and homosexuals in the worst possible light? They make these songs all the fucking time in country music. Sometimes you just like what you like. Am I ashamed that I work with three other people named "Cohen" and that we have bagels in our office three days a week?But anyways, I plan on bashing out my Top 20 on this site in the next couple of days. And no matter what happens, I'm sure Jenny Lewis will get her proper due should we make a list for "Best Alternative Cans" (and yes, I will cop to completely stealing this line from Buddyhead, and that they said it about Meg White). In the meantime, the usual...- Even at the tender age of 46, Albert Pujols is, as Kent Brockman would say, a cantankerous old geezer. Let Scrapple Dun Dun live. Besides, if you had choice to ride rims with one of them in the MVP Escalade, who are you goin' with?I'm 27, so is the duuuuuuuuubs - A couple weeks ago, I went and saw the Wrens and Asobi Seksu at the Troubadour. Two things have been confirmed: without the chick, Asobi Seksu is the ugliest band in the world, and that every Wrens fans were the most miserable group of people in 2003. Listen to any one talk about how much the love "The Meadowlands" and it will inevitably come down to "I could relate." For those who've forgotten, "The Meadowlands" is a document about grown-ass men who have failed in their careers, love lives and possibly parenting as well. It's an incredibly candid and powerful document, but one whose resonance ultimately comes down to your ability to see yourself in the songs. First year in law school...verrrrry easy to think that you've made an enormous mistake in your life. I mean, the songs are catchy and all that, but so is Panic! At The Disco (which, as I'll probably explain at some point, are nowhere near as bad as I was led to believe). Oh yeah, and there's no other way to so it: The Wrens are really fucking old. Okay, they play with a lot of energy that belies their age, but there's no ignoring it. They brought up a bunch of people onstage to help them sing "Boys, You Won't," which seems incredibly weird until you realize that the exact same thing happens for "Lover I Don't Have To Love" and "Tiny Vessels." I've seen both Bright Eyes and Death Cab and the kids seem to sing along those songs the loudest. Them indie boys- they looove their misogyny disguised as heartbreak!But anyways, there's this young-ish looking hipster chick who's dancing incredibly close to one of the guys in the Wrens (I don't know which is which, only that one of them took a "Mexico" surname long before Michael Vick did) and I'm just thinking to myself..."is that girl going to fuck the Wrens? Do they still get down like that?" Look, I know things ain't what they used to be, but you never want to think of your favorite rock bands as dudes who have "matured" past the point of scoring easy ass.The Wrens- "Boys, You Won't"- In other news, I made an attempt to see the RZA at the Key Club, forgoing to buy tickets in advance because if you think I'm paying $28 to see just the RZA, you're off that honey dipped spliff. Unfortunately, I underestimated L.A.'s interest in the performance and the shit was sold out. Obviously, there's a big difference between trying to hustle a ticket for a RZA show and doing the same for Grizzly Bear, although I guess if the Grizz had RZA's security, they'd probably still be on tour. I shouldn't have changed my clothes after work; that way, I could convince the people I was with the label. Except I might've got caught in a lie...is RZA on Koch yet? And if not, why not?But I guess I should've expected more from Wu diehards in the L.A. metro area, because after seeing this MTV Cribs, they probably gave Bob Digi a key to the city. The best part about the Busta Rhymes cameo? That's Spliff Star right next to him on the couch! Peter King made an argument about possibly getting Steve Tasker in the Hall of Fame because he was far and away the best special teamer of all time. I say that Spliff deserves some sort of recognition in Cleveland. His weed carrier aptitude is unapproachable.Do they still have MTV Cribs, by the way? Look, we've always had to deal with shitty mainstream rappers (more now than ever), but now they can't even get rich enough to even get on "How I'm Living." Say what you want about Sisqo, but wasn't it fun to see his mansion and immediately start a pool to see when it would end up on "MTV Cribs: Repo Edition"? I'm sure it's gone down by now, unless supposed sugar daddy Yancey Thigpen is paying those bills. And no, I can't tell you where I heard that Thigpen was DL like that. This is not something you can actively learn.- And by the way, considering Diddy's album has about twelve consecutive tracks with a different R&B bitch, it's become obvious why he did "Making The Band" parts 2 and 3: he misses Total about as much as I do. "Trippin'" was the fucking jam. Why does everyone have to start out with a solo career in hip-hop and R&B? Just look at Destiny's Child and Leaders Of The New Schol, to name a few. If you're bankable, people will ultimately find out. But even if there isn't a breakout star, you can still have an En Vogue or SWV. Who couldn't go for one of their likes in the 21st century? Shit, at the very least, you'll end up with 702, which, if I remember correctly, dropped "Where My Girls At" (also fucking jam-ish) and then one of them got knocked up. For shame. Wouldn't your ears perk up if your favorite rapper's favorite rapper got En Vogue on a track in 2006? Shit, if Khia can make it to a Janet Jackson album (wait, her boyfriend didn't shoot her because she gave him AIDS? That was such an airtight urban myth!), anything's possible. 702- "Where My Girls At?"- The new Ghostface album (which by the way, is fucking phenomenal) has a track called "Miguel Sanchez." I gotta hand it to him...that's a far more esoteric Simpsons reference than calling your band Fall Out Boy. I guess you gotta step your game up around the Def Jam offices if you want to be involved with Pete Wentz and Jay-Z's weekly playdates.Ghostface- "Greedy Bitches" Virginia Cavaliers NCAA Basketball - Sport Snipe - Team News - Stats - Updates http://www.sportsnipe.com/main_sportsnews/2941382/i-bent-my-wookie.html I was expecting my review of "Hip Hop Is Dead" to be up at Stylus, but we've held off on running new reviews until January 2...but now that I think about, I only recently came up with the best way to summarize 2006 in the world of New York hip-hop. Allow me to explain:You remember that episode of "The Simpsons" where Allison Taylor enrolls in Springfield Elementary and starts beating Lisa at everything she excels at? Well, the uncomfortable tension comes to a head in the climactic Diorama-Rama, the second most anticipated event at Springfield Elementary next to Hearing Test Thursday. Both Allison and Lisa are working at a maddening pace to beat the other, and in a crisis of confidence, Lisa finally decides to sabotage Allison's presentation by stealing her diorama, hiding it under the floorboards and replacing it with a cow's heart.As Allison struggles to explain to Principal Skinner where her diorama went, Lisa has a change of heart and allows it to be presented at the very last minute. Skinner's evaluation: "sterile...no real insight." As for Lisa, "well, this doesn't deserve to win." As Skinner approaches Ralph Wiggum's diorama, he laments, "ugh...now we're in the dregs." As it turns out, Ralph brought in a box of unopened Star Wars figurines, much to the delight of Skinner. And since they've run out of time and don't really care much anymore because it's almost lunch, Wiggum is awarded the blue ribbon. He later brags in a sing-song voice, "I beat the smart kids!" despite not being aware of what a diorama even is.Ladies and gentlemen, Allison is Nas, Lisa is Jay-Z and Ralph is Jim Jones. Once again, "The Simpsons" apply to everything.What's a battle?In other DipSet-related news, this was probably my favorite brawl news of the weekend. Not just because the guy involved in the altercation is named Cam-Ron, but because they included this line:Cam-Ron Clay takes it hard to the hoop before taking it hard to his coachThe "no homo" writes itself. Virginia Cavaliers NCAA Basketball - Sport Snipe - Team News - Stats - Updates http://www.sportsnipe.com/main_sportsnews/2941381/spending-time-my-family-like-corleooooones.html So yeah, I spent today getting my teeth examined by an Estonian lady at the Temple Dental Clinic while it rained all day and clocked in at about 45 degrees. Nope...don't miss Cali at all.But as far as Temple goes, it might not have the most aesthetically pleasing campus, but maybe you place more importance on the availability of curry goat within walking distance.Oxtails chopped up in Caribbean spotsAlso, I got the indelible experience of going to the Trenton airport. Now, if you've ever driven past Trenchtown, you probably saw a bridge that states, "Trenton makes, the world takes." Once you get past the Jim Jones "did he just say that shit?" nature of this slogan, it's actually kinda true that Trenton's been picked clean. Talk about a bare-bones operation; that shit looks like a Ross with airplanes in the parking lot. Speaking of which, how is it that a certain Rick hasn't hooked up with these guys yet for an ad campaign?Everyday we hustlin' to bring you the hottest new brands at the lowest pricesBut I guess Trenton appreciates the business, as they brung 'em out for what was apparently the first Delta flight to ever come by. I think I might've shook hands with the mayor. There were free mugs and danishes. Hey, gotta get on your grizzly when you've got one terminal to your name.Still, it's a far better experience than being at the Trenton train station, which I've forsaken for Greyhound whenever I need to get to NY for under twenty bucks. The train station's been on my shitlist since they closed down the Roy Rogers. Just a theory: after indulging in one of their high-viscosity roast beef sandwiches, too many people were faced with the difficult choice between shitting their pants and taking their chances with a Trenton train station toilet. Too many people understandably chose the former.But you can't really knock Greyhound when it's an affirmative choice rather than one of desperation. Taking it to New York from Philly is worth the hassle, certainly a better option than the Chinatown buses...word is that fucking coffins with people in them show up on those shits. But if you gotta rock those down to Florida, you've hit rock bottom. Either that or you're storing a ki of Peruvian white in your colon and you're shook by the jakes at NJ Transit. Either way, that's rock bottom. Just a question in light of the current weather conditions: if you're homeless and you're down to your last twenty or thirty beans, why not take a Greyhound down to Miami so you can be homeless somewhere warm?So, in essence, Greyhound bears a lot of similarities to Cisco. Not the food corporation or Yancey Thigpen's mans an' 'em, but that shit Biggie was talking about in "Going Back To Cali." I'm utterly astounded at how few people have actually heard of it, but then again, it's an incredibly rare find. Just do the knowledge at this site and pay extra special attention to the former slogan. But yeah, it's the Greyhound of fortified wines, allowing dudes like me to brush up on hobo culture without actually pickling my liver in the process.Freaks from Frisco not included Virginia Cavaliers NCAA Basketball - Sport Snipe - Team News - Stats - Updates http://www.sportsnipe.com/main_sportsnews/2941380/sexy-results-most-disappointing-albums-2006.html Yeah, maybe I could give you the best of 2006, but you can already find it over at Stylus. I'll say this, though: I was posted up at the McDonald's in LAX and I overheard from afar a synthy, sorta-Euro, vaguely reggae sounding song that I knew I was familiar with. I thought to myself, "hey...this sort of sounds like 'Marble House'...are they really playing The Knife here?" Turns out it was "All That She Wants." So make whatever you want out of that, aware that it still clocked in at #19 on my list and Stylus finally put up a #1 that didn't immediately embarrass us. And hey, two brown people at in a row at the top spot without having to resort to TV On The Radio! But Sexy Results! has never been about, you know, being all praiseworthy and whatnot. Disappointment? Right in my wheelhouse, baby. So, in a year that certainly saw no shortage of albums that made me wonder whether I liked music in the first place, I present to you the ones that stood out the most...The Futureheads- "News And Tributes"I've been listening to the new Bloc Party album a great deal, even though it's a rather shitty rip that makes it sound like they recorded it aboard a moving train. For what it's worth, it's very good. Very, very good, even if Kele's becoming a pretty mushy lyricist. But more importantly, it's distinctly different from "Silent Alarm." Let's face it: they probably couldn't have made an album that sounds like "Silent Alarm" that's better than "Silent Alarm." As a matter of fact, the only way to improve "Silent Alarm" is to take the last three songs off of it. Not because they're bad, but they don't really fit, "So Here We Are" sounds like the kind of song that deserves to close out an album, and "Silent Alarm" sounds like the kind of album that's stronger at 11 tracks than 14.But anyways, the fact that "A Weekend In The City" doesn't follow directly in its predecessor's footsteps (irony: they have to drop off the Panic! At The Disco tour because the drummer got a punctured lung, and yet 85% of "A Weekend In The City sounds like it was made with a drum machine) is important regardless of whether it's met with backlash. Because there was every indication from prior "angular"/Brit-or-Brit-sounding bands that you have to follow up your debut with a paler imitation of it. "Room On Fire," "You Could Have It So Much Better," "Antics," and now, "News & Tributes." And the reason I'm happy with Bloc Party going the route they did was because this bowl of flavorless root marm is what happened when The Futureheads were faced with an almost exactly similar situation. The Larry Levan Story- Journey Into ParadiseI'm not big on compilations, but when there's something that can sum up a genre I'm completely unfamiliar with and it's getting outstanding reviews, I'll give it a shot. Well, after listening to this joint, I'll say this: not since my first prostate exam have I been more certain that I'm not gay. Ryan Adams/Conor OberstHonorable mentions. How did neither of these guys end up making an album in 2006? Running trains on Winona is not a good excuse (seriously, has she gotten around to fucking the dudes in Roman Candle yet?). Oh, "Noise Floor"...if you have the patience to get past the first three tracks, you were a hostage in a previous life. Kelis- "Kelis Is Here"I usually have no use for R&B albums, but Kelis has always tried to give off the impression that she's different than most people in her genre. The most egregious way she goes about doing this is making it abundantly clear that her rapper boyfriend actually fucks her. Well, do you wanna know why this shit completely disappeared after "Bossy"? Because it's mostly filled with anonymous ballad bullshit and almost no sass. So, can we flip the script and say Nas emasculated her too? Killer Mike- "I Pledge Allegiance To The Grind"Stop me if you heard this one before: Dixie also-ran releases album that's fairly popular regionally, but mostly ignored by critics and mainstream. Releases angry mixtape that talks about nothing but coke and industry rule #4,080 with assorted beef raps and the occasional flicker of political insight. Mixtape viewed as underground masterpiece. Just make sure you give Pitchfork invites to your listening party, and you're guaranteed an 8.5. Killer Mike's ceiling was the Dungeon Family's Beanie Sigel, but now he sounds like a less versatile 40 Cal. This could easily be a parody of blogger rap if it wasn't so damn sincurrrr.Grizzly Bear- "Yellow House"Umrph...huh...wha? Oh, sorry...I was in the middle of my twelfth spin, trying to figure out if this is actually good or not. Must've been resting my eyelids. In all seriousness, this band really impressed the shit out of me live, but next time you make a record, give the drummer some.Scott Walker- "The Drift"The male answer to "Ys," except actually worse. There's a 99% chance you'll never meet a person in real life who can get through two straight songs of his.Rilo Kiley solo projectsThe cans are real, but the twang is not. Christ, would it be that embarassing to own a Carrie Underwood album (no Romo)? As for The Elected, if Grandaddy was capable of releasing only one good album (they'd make this list too, but I keep thinking "Fambly Cat" is a figment of my imagination), what chance do they have?Swan Lake- "Beast Moans"Too many MC's, not enough mic's. Exit your show like I exit the turnpike.Deftones- "Saturday Night Wrist"Note to Maverick Records: maybe you should have funneled that "Hole In The Earth" video money into buying enough cocaine and Domino's pizza to ensure these dudes recaptured even a sliver of "White Pony"'s magic. My only guess is that the Deftones and the Raiders offensive line decided to switch places in some sort of NoCal reality show hijinks. It's not like anyone would notice.The Walkmen- "A Hundred Miles Off"Fifteen playful otters get clubbed every day the world at large pays more attention to these guys than The National.The Streets- "The Hardest Way To Make An Easy Living"When I think back on my college experience, what stands out is that my best friends during first year are people I haven't spoken to in years. Imagine having that kind of social fluidity when you're 26. It's a pretty common thing, I presume. These are the kind of people you usually meet during Orientation Week or Rush, when you're actively looking to meet all the people you can; you hit it off with someone immediately and spend about the next month or two hanging out all the time. And then, they slide out of your life because it becomes abundantly clear that you've already heard everything this person has to say. It's tough to lump Mike Skinner into this category after one album that's probably not as bad as I remember it being, but the shoe certainly fits. Right after I graduated college, "Original Pirate Material" was up there with "Lifted" in terms of being albums about the 20-something experience I was really susceptible to liking. I played "OPM" pretty much all the time whenever I went to DC for the weekend. My mans an' 'em Neil lived in an apartment complex in Georgetown that looked exactly like the album cover. Likewise, "A Grand Don't Come For Free" was the sort of album I was susceptible to liking after a tumultuous first year of law school. However, here I am getting on with the rest of my life, and here Mike Skinner is making the second best PSA against cocaine since "Be Here Now." It's right behind the intro to "Kilo."The Stills- "Without Feathers"Band accused of being a shameless Brit-rock ripoff decides to make a roots-rock album. Those who forget Black Rebel Motorcycle Club are doomed to repeat them....And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of Dead- "So Divided"Dude, I stood up for you clowns and made "Worlds Apart" #13 on my Stylus Top 20 last year. And yet you're making an album for "a few pretentious farm equipment-wielders whom I won't mention" (his words, not mine) that tried to ruin your fuckin' career because giving a 10.0 to a mainstream alt-rock album embarassed the shit out of them? Yeah, well played. Turn Swedish or gay, and we could've nudged you into our Top 50 at the very least.The Roots- "Game Theory"The best album released in 2006 that I can go months without listening to. Oh, and if you're looking for Jay-Z, Nas, Ludacris, Method Man, Clipse, Jeezy, Cam'ron (in retrospect, was "Killa Season" that disappointing considering what came after it?), OutKast, and just about any other mainstream rapper that dropped in 2006 (really, what's left for 2007? Common? Fiddy? "Detox"?), you can't consider an album a disappointment if you got exactly what you thought you would. Virginia Cavaliers NCAA Basketball - Sport Snipe - Team News - Stats - Updates http://www.sportsnipe.com/main_sportsnews/2941379/i-front-like-my-doodoo-dont-stink.html Instinct like Cuba Gooding, jumpin' out the latest toy (no Kordell Stewart)Um...but if you do a Google Image search for Jeff Garcia, you're likely to find something where "silk shirt and my chest show, what a flirt" is more appropriate.You know, I got all kinds of respect for Tiki, but let's be real: he was rockin' a "Portland Trail Blazer in February" face that entire game. As in, "I could clearly not give a fuck whether or not I win today." And I don't know what it is, but why does Dr. Hahn from Grey's Anatomy look like Tom Coughlin rocking a wig? Yes, that's a Sexy Results! exclusive right there.Find the reason Peter King shouldn't make any more references to Megadeth.From one ethering to another, it's like an AIDS test...what's the result? Not positive. Now that your year-end lists are turned in, let's begin the national healing process of actually liking stuff you actually like. So yeah, even though I stand by my opinion that "The Takeover" was a far better and more effective track than "Ether," the latter's kinda more fun to quote, mostly because it's a lot more scattershot, leaving plenty of choice nuggets that are nice to pull out of context. Your man stabbed Un and made you take the blame.Also, there have been a lot of reviews bandied about for Nas' "Hip Hop Is Dead," but until mine, none of them have been right. It didn't really shine through in my first paragraph, but Nas might well be hip-hop's Madonna; not so much in the chameleonic sense, but more because no one gets better reviews when their album manages to not suck as bad as its predecessor. It's no surprise that Nas continues to rap over second-banana beats, but my bigger issue is that my favorite Nas personae fail to show up at all. Those being irrational shit-talker (the guy who absolutely aired out Noreaga and Cam'ron in 2002) and irrational rich guy. Particularly the second part. Weiss will argue this point to no end, but who didn't enjoy his guest verse on "It's Mine"? Or "Let My N***as Live"? How long would it take you to come up with a boast as fly as "the only n***a Sade dated"? Virginia Cavaliers NCAA Basketball - Sport Snipe - Team News - Stats - Updates http://www.sportsnipe.com/main_sportsnews/2941378/disappear-here.html We can dream that the '80s never happenedTaking a trip round my sorely neglected blog circuit, one thing seems to strike me: 2007 is finding people being pretty fucking optimistic. And I have to jump on that bandwagon. Maybe it's the fact that Pitchfork's #1 albums of the '70s, '80s and '90s all came out in the "-7" years, but something about 2007 seems like some good shit's gonna pop off. In the span of two weeks, I've gotten promoted in two different jobs (if you want to qualify my AOL gig as a "job"), almost sealed the deal into moving into my own place in El Segundo and saw My Morning Jacket in Downtown Disney (I had to be sober in order to make the drive back, but it almost feels negligent to be in Downtown Disney and not be balls-out tripping). And, for reasons I'll explain in subsequent posts, I already feel like I've heard more great albums in 2007 than in 2006, and it was just fuckin' MLK day.Of course, the flipside of all this is that people are pretty jazzed about 2007 because 2006 pretty much sucked on all fronts. Okay, let's be clear: a year can't itself suck. Not one where I pass the Bar and move to a new (relatively) exotic part of the country and discover that Tab is still sold there. But the reason I moved from LiveJournal to Blogger was that people should be more concerned with what happens in the world of music and sports than my actual life. Because most guys who blog about their life do so thinking they're the new Tucker Max when they're just a bunch of swag jackers who think any night they down more than two Coronas was "the craziest shit ever." I can't blame 'em; Max has weed carrier-types seriously cakin' off their book deals.But considering that Sexy Results! is, for the most part, a music and sports site, there's no question that if 2006 wasn't worse than 2001, it's the closest one. My God, did you see a year-end Top 20 list where you liked half the shit on it? I don't even write for a site that accomplished that! Although to our credit, Stylus had a better list going than just about anyone else, even if by showing our true colors, i.e., gay/technophile/Brit, sometimes all three, led to Pet Shop Boys being at #19 even though I had no idea it was a new album.On top of that, sports peaked within the year's first couple of days. Vince Young was the kind of guy you could pull for even if you didn't give a shit about college football. Not only did he almost singlehandedly vanquish a monolith of Sportstainment!, but in contrast to USC's pretty boy knobshining, we had a straight H-town repper who managed to infiltrate one of the most tradition-heavy programs in the nation. Imagine an Alabama quarterback who went into interviews talking about how he got his O-line hyped up by listening to David Banner or Dirty or whatever.But after that, we were subject to the least interesting bunch of championship teams I can think of in recent years. It wasn't even uninteresting in the Yanks/Bulls mode...at least you could actively hate them. The Steelers and Seahawks both scored about 5 on the pH scale, and some people even resorted to backlashing against Jerome Bettis because they couldn't think of any other reason to care. The Mavericks, Suns and Clippers heralded a bolder, brighter future in the NBA replete with daredevil athletic moves and colorful role players. And then the Mavs suffered a complete (and possibly referee-induced) collapse that resulted in one of the most loathesome champions in years. Look, I love Shaq. Everyone likes to talk about the Redman episode of "MTV Cribs," but Shaq deserves a lifetime achievement award from that show. I can't knock that. But D-Wade is by far the least compelling of 2003's godbodies, and Alonzo Mourning is a fucking asshole who demanded to be bought out from a playoff team and predated Shawne Merriman's pointless arm flexing. I don't think Gary Payton could find fun in a Chuck E Cheese.So when I think if I'm mad the Eagles lost, I can't say for sure. Many have said the Eagles were basically playing with house money, which is a strong candidate for "Least True Thing of 2007." Yes, rallying to the NFC East crown was unexpected, but there weren't too many Philly faithful who looked at Seattle and Chicago and didn't think, "I don't care if any of the remaining AFC teams would run us off the field. But we can definitely get on that field." Not to mention that if a Philadelphia team was going to bring home a championship, now would be a good fucking time. It's gotten to some "40 Year Old Virgin" shit.The Sixers fooled themselves into thinking that they could be competitive and ended up like an expansion team two months later. And yes, Andre Miller strikes me as being someone who'd be the best player on an expansion team. Meanwhile, the Flyers figured that a good way to bring fans back into the fold after the strike was to keep evoking memories of what brought them there in the first place: NHL '95. Of course, ten years later, guys like Derian Hatcher are the biggest liaibilities possible and they became the worst team in hockey so quick, it made my fucking head spin. I mean, I always thought that hockey's regular season was like classes in college; failure wasn't the result of shit luck so much as the active pursuit of failure. You have to try to be that bad. Worse yet, Flyers tickets are readily available for the first time since pre-Lindros, and I'm on the other side of the country.And then there's the Phillies who spent the offseason deciding that upgrading from David Bell to Wes Helms and Mike Lieberthal to Rod Barajas was the best way to keep pace in an increasingly competitive NL East. Scrapple Dun Dun had to go sign with CAA. No one even knows if Temple basketball is good anymore, and I'm not sure anyone even cares. So that "house money" theory was bullshit; Philly fans are looking at teams that might not be competitive for five years.But it was certainly a different feeling going to war with Jeff Garcia instead of McNasty, but this is essentially the same guys we've been dealing with since 2001, i.e., Reid, Westbrook, Funyan, Trotter, Dawkins, Akers, snouts and entrails at wideout, some mediocre defensive tackle we draft in the first round, and so forth. Rooting for the Eagles for the latter part of 2006 wasn't like learning to love again after your heart's been broken. It was like having sex with your girlfriend after she got a radically different haircut.And I can't see Garcia leaving, even if McNabb's job is secure. Jeff picked a bad year to be a valuable backup, as the teams most likely to pull the trigger on a QB are...the Lions and the Browns. As they say, fool me once...There are two reasons I haven't taken the loss so hard. For one thing, it seemed to be exact karmic realignment for the Packers game of 2003. Allow me to refresh your memory on what had to take place in order for the Eagles to win that game;1. The Eagles had to stop Ahman Green on a 4th and inches in their own territory the only way possible: by praying to God that Mike Sherman would call a timeout and punt instead. Now, the defensive coordinator ended up getting blamed for this loss, but this set the wheels irreparably in motion. It was a phenomenally dumb call; Green was running through the depleted Eagles' D with a machete (Deuce was similarly unstoppable).2. Against the Packers, The Eagles had to convert a 4th and 26, and to do so, Freddie Mitchell had to make the catch. Due to the game's relative lack of importance, I don't think this is talked about as being one of the most unbelievable occurrences in modern sports history. I know this was only three years removed from Kurt Warner's entire 2000 season, but still...name five things that have happened since then that were more shocking than the creation of "First Down Freddie"/"The People's Champ" (yes, I miss the guy).3. If you've seen a lamer duck thrown in playoff football than the one Brett Favre put up in OT, you're probably watching highlights of Super Bowl VII.Fast-forward to this year when six games of evidence pointed to that actually running the ball more than twenty times a game might've been a good idea for the Eagles, a team not really known for 4th-quarter competence. Yet on a 3rd and 1 within the red zone, Reid decides to get cute and throw a screen pass against a reeling Saints D in a game that was clearly not going to be won with field goals. Andy, you've watched too much Mark Simoneau and Hollis Thomas to not feel perfectly secure about your team's ability to pick up a 3rd and 1 on the ground.Meanwhile, minutes later, Andy Reid decides to punt on 4th and 15 even though the Eagles have more plays over 20 yards than any team in the NFL, two time outs and no idea how to stop the inevitable Deuce McAllister runs.I realize that it sucks, but it might be for the greater good. You shouldn't root for the Saints simply because you, unlike our boy in the booth, care about black people. You should root for the Saints if you give a shit about the NFL being watchable.As I've said before, the NFL is pretty much a giant sorority; there's some marginal differences, but at the core, they're all the same thing. I'm amazed that Madden is more popular than NCAA 2007 for that reason. When you're deep into dynasty mode, you can always switch to Rice or Air Force in attempt to win a bunch of games in a different way than you've done it before. Meanwhile, it doesn't matter whether you've got Antonio Gates or Ronald Royal as your tight end in Madden...he'll end up with over 100 catches by the end of the season.But the Saints can help change this, and you should be rooting for them. Okay, let's not forget that the other three guys aren't exactly the most enticing. I'd hate to think that Bill Simmons will be walking around my city with a 24-hour erection in the event the Patriots win, and even though I'm not the biggest Peyton Manning fan, I'd rather see his agony be fully transferred to Eli for the rest of his career. And I've got no real beef with the Bears, but I can't fully support them as a Super Bowl champion when they strike me as a team that's perfectly capable of losing 37-3 any given week. There's not too many playoff teams I ever really felt that way about.And I'm not sure the Saints can really come through, because they're pretty much a less criminal minded version of the Bengals. Like, every time the Saints didn't score against the Eagles, I felt relieved, but I still feel the sting of defeat because the Eagles probably should've scored just as often.Here's the problem with the NFL; coaches are on a shorter leash than they are in college. The only goal for a team in the NFL is to win a Super Bowl, and every team has a decent chance to do it every single year. If Al Groh managed to even lose the Fiesta Bowl, he'd probably have a statue put up on campus. Meanwhile, NFL coaches can achieve quicker success, but they can get fired a lot quicker, because firing a coach is an easy way for owners to prove that they actually give a shit about their fanbase's input.And as the Jets and so forth have proven, the quickest way for an NFL team to get good in a hurry is to use defense, an ugly-time consuming running game and an easy schedule to get into the playoffs. And it wouldn't hurt to hire the least charismatic coach possible. Everyone will of course rag on the Texans for picking Mario Williams with the first pick, and while it wasn't the right choice, as I've said before, it wasn't really wrong either. Of course, it's harder to say that in retrospect seeing as how they need a RB (drafting Adrian Peterson would do some serious damage control in terms of position and local flavor, but I don't know if Gary Kubiak, a Broncos disciple is into that) and a new QB.Meanwhile, the Saints are on some money shit, successful out the blue. They basically got a bunch of new toys during the offseason that were all on the offensive side of the ball and became the most fun team to watch in the NFL. It doesn't matter that Reggie Bush is averaging about nine feet per carry; do you not get a little excited every time they give him the ball? Brian Dawkins said that it's actually a little easier to defend the Saints when Bush is in because they shrink their playbook in order to get him outside. But then you realize the Eagles have to shift their entire defensive mentality just for one guy.Well, of course, there is the matter of the whole Katrina thing as well. Seems like New Orleans could probably use a Super Bowl more than the Eagles. I've said before how I can't really fathom being a hometown fanatic when so few pro sports teams embody anything about their city. I might have absolutely nothing in common with Jameel Sewell, but there's at least the common thread of us voluntarily picking the same institution. Yes, you can say Drew Brees picked New Orleans, but if Miami didn't feel like cratering their QB situation for the next five years, I don't think Brees would've cozied up to the Big Easy so easily.But the Saints are pretty much inextricable from their home city, and it's not just because when Fox cameras panned to Joe Horn in street clothes, I thought for a split second it was Juvenile. It really comes down to hope of rebuilding and finding a new way to do it. I'm probably talking out of my ass here, but the old school method of disaster relief is relying on the governmental help...in other words, the same people who fucked you in the first place. One thing I've learned from law school is that if you knew the kind of people who planned on working in politics, you'd learn to never trust the government to do anything competently. When was the last time you dealt with anything governmental (be it the DMV or post office or whatever) and ended up satisfied with your experience?Meanwhile, the Saints have rebuilt themselves seemingly from scratch (really, I wondered whether Goodall was going to have to allow N.O. extra draft picks because no free agent would want to go there), and they've done so in the most exciting way since the Greatest Show On Turf. Bill Simmons comes off like a whiny bitch in his latest defense of the Patriots, but he accidentally reaches the right point: we're bored of corporations winning the Super Bowl. Yeah, the Patriots are scandal free since Zeke Mowatt (BALLIN'!), but they pretty much are the embodiment of rooting for clothing. You can root for the players on the Saints; McAllister for being at the center of the tragedy, Colston for proving that drafting WR's is a bigger crapshoot than QB's, Brees for turning a free-agent deal with the Saints into something reasonable, and, I never thought I'd say this, Reggie Bush for embodying the NFL we wish we had. Yes, I'll watch anything that's playoff, and the NFL is by far the most popular sport we have, but I just worry that it'll eventually turn into the NHL, getting surpassed by the video game version of itself.Of course, this whole post ensures that Rex Grossman becomes the new Neil O'Donnell in Super Bowl XLI. T'anks for nothin'. Virginia Cavaliers NCAA Basketball - Sport Snipe - Team News - Stats - Updates http://www.sportsnipe.com/main_sportsnews/2941377/pay-us-like-you-owe-for-all-years-that-hoed.html We can talk, but money talks...so talk mo' bucks10-4, good buddy- Paper Chase got his money up. It's a good thing too, because even though the Fightin's once again came ohsoclose to the promised land of the playoffs, you couldn't help but check out Utley and Scrapple Dun Dun's ESPN player cards without getting nervous. We've been searching for proper nicknames for a long time, and we might as well just call these two the Cold Crush Brothers, considering how they've been rockin' crowds for chump change. The NL's MVP and premiere second baseman combined for 90 home runs, 251 RBI, 385 hits and 235 runs...and made a grand total of $885,000 last year, or about as much as Danny Tartabull got for every at bat he made in a Phillies uniform.Still, Ruben Amaro, Jr. had to talk a gang of bullshit about why they decided to lock dude up for the next seven years:"He's a hard-nosed, full-throttle player who exemplifies the spirit of Philadelphia. He is tailor-made for this city and we couldn't be happier to lock him up for years to come."Ignoring the fact that he grew up in Pasadena, this is exactly the kind of stuff that makes what I said in the last post true as hell. Stop perpetuating the myth that Philly would rather have their guys be scrappers than people who score a lot of sports points; we loved the 1993 Phillies because they got to the World Series. Nowadays, most guys in the city know Lenny Dykstra as a juiced-up gambling addict, Curt Schilling as a sanctimonious Fox News shill and John Kruk as being someone who's trying so hard to be baseball's John Madden but is really baseball's Tony Siragusa. And then there's Darren Daulton, who's spent the last decade doing a better job of being Kool Keith than Kool Keith himself.Now my helmet's on, you can't tell me I'm not in spaceThese guys almost certainly cheated back in the day and almost certainly didn't care about putting in extra hours for practice and conditioning, and no one gave a shit- Philly fans just want to see their teams win! Can anyone say for certain that Chase Utley is really putting in twice the work that Steve Jeltz or Juan Samuel did? What was Utley's "effort metric" in 2005 (David Epstein's was an astounding 18.5 grizzlebees)? Maybe that "we can dream that the '80s never happened" tagline is better applied to Jeltz; back in 1988, you could hit .187 in 148 games and still be the starting shortstop for the Philadelphia Phillies the very next season.What we can say for certain is that if The Jet managed to put up a 35-game hit streak, people in the Illadelph wouldn't give a shit if he spent more time with his Soul Glo than at the batting cages. Of course, that cheese-eatin' surrender monkey did spend more time with his Soul Glo than at the batting cages, so that's probably the reason he hit .218 in his career.Rumor has it it's an S-curl accident Virginia Cavaliers NCAA Basketball - Sport Snipe - Team News - Stats - Updates http://www.sportsnipe.com/main_sportsnews/2941376/im-tryin-to-kick-shit-you-need-learn-tho.html BrolicFor reasons I'll explain in the post to follow, I've waited until February to make a list of "most slept-on albums of 2006" (if I'm still writing in 2008, Apostle Of Hustle will definitely make next year's list. Just a feeling). But in reminiscence on things that have gotten overlooked, I think "Dr. Katz" might as well come with its own Craftmatic. It sort of has a similar level of fame that, say, "The Critic" has, but unlike the latter, "Dr. Katz" hasn't been overplayed in syndication to the point where buying the DVD would be redundant. If you live near a Best Buy, you can get Season One for a very reasonable $14.99, and remind yourself that Ray Romano and Dom Irerra can actually be pretty funny sometimes. Honest injun!I shouldn't have to go over the premise again, but you have to admit: it's rather genius. For the most part, what is stand-up comedy other than the airing of one's neuroses? What I can't quite get a grasp on is the concept of Squigglevision; something this weird usually gets a justification along the lines of, "it's intended for people who are very, very stoned." But then I remember that this aired on Comedy Central, and not Adult Swim and its humor is about as dry as Southern Cracker (still possibly tied for sixth with Table Time and Allied Biscuit).My question to the reader: what happens first?a) An Atlanta rapper names himself "Lil' Young."b) MF Doom samples that tasteful jazz ish that constitutes "Dr. Katz" theme music Virginia Cavaliers NCAA Basketball - Sport Snipe - Team News - Stats - Updates http://www.sportsnipe.com/main_sportsnews/2941375/meanwhile-he-flashin-his-face-like-denzel.html Yeah, even in the JPJ, Duke gets all the fuckin' calls. S-Dot's gotta eat, though. And I'm hoping enough NBA squads watched game tape of this, because if any team picks McRoberts (or Hansborough) in the Lottery, I need to know what GM has access to the best drugs. Something tells me that Chris Mullin's #1 with a bullet. Virginia Cavaliers NCAA Basketball - Sport Snipe - Team News - Stats - Updates http://www.sportsnipe.com/main_sportsnews/2941374/kilo-thousand-grams.html Oh yo, Troy- I can't feel my faceKudos to ESPN for using the most appropriate headline possible in order to announce Michael Irvin's induction into the Football Hall of Fame: "Cowboy Yea." The only way that could've been better is if Thomas "Hollywood" Henderson also got in today.As far as the Super Bowl goes, we all know the main storylines: Peyton Manning, '85 Bears, two black coaches in the Super Bowl and two in the unemployment line (it probably should be three, but Romeo Crennel is presiding over the "classiest" four win seasons this side of Sylvester Croom), Bill Belicheck clearly establishing himself as a complete asshole (yo, Ted Johnson- next round's on me), etc. Those are all heartwarming, right? Well, ESPN's like, fuck that noise! If you want uplift of the human spirit, I suggest you go here and read of the gripping tale of a child born into ridiculous wealth, never working a real job in his life, ending up in rehab and fulfilling his spiritual needs by getting in his private jet and dropping millions on pop culture paraphernalia. Seriously: Jimmy Irsay's like some sort of weird combination of Bill Walton, George W. Bush and The Game, if The Game constantly name-dropped poets instead of members of N.W.A.Wouldn't get far Virginia Cavaliers NCAA Basketball - Sport Snipe - Team News - Stats - Updates http://www.sportsnipe.com/main_sportsnews/2941373/cleanin-out-my-closet.html Couldn't pull one drag off RZA's bluntThe announcement of the first openly gay NBA player this past week was disappointing on several levels. For one thing, I think a lot of us were secretly hoping it was Kenny Anderson or Patrick Ewing or something. Secondly, it made me a little sad inside thinking how difficult it must be for John Amaechi to find someone special; if you saw a profile on match.com or whatever saying "6'10" GBM, loves basketball and The Klaxons," you'd automatically assume they're lying. Third, you stole Kanye from Dame (sorry, there can't be a discussion about homosexuality without a Cam'ron quote). Fourth, I haven't heard any opinions on this yet from the NBA's answer to dead prez, Jermaine O'Neal and Etan Thomas. Oh sure, when David Stern fucks with the dress code, it's a race thing and you're totally against the war, but just how liberal are you guys when it comes down to brass tacks? Lastly, and I think a lot of media outlets are picking up on this, in terms of courage, John Amaechi is slightly below Private Joker and slightly above the protagonist of "In The Air Tonight." This really doesn't strike a blow for gay rights so much as it ensures that John Amaechi will be far more famous and profitable than he ever was or had any right to be. All those book deals, TV appearances, etc.- those weren't really poppin' off when he was merely a more British Greg Ostertag.Of course, the real boon in all of this is getting to hear other NBA players react, proof positive that you should never ask a pro baller opinions about anything remotely important. This article should permanently end any possibility of Charles Barkley becoming a politician. At the very least, it unquestionably posits the Sixers as having the most homophobic front court in the NBA. All that was missing was Sam Dalembert calling him "batty boy."I seriously doubt we'll see an openly gay active player any time soon, and that's a shame, because NBA players should really see the big picture here. I'm not really talking about embracing different lifestyles because it's the right thing to do. But think about it; most of the players' concerns (other than getting ass-raped in the shower) revolve around whether a homosexual would be "manly" or physical enough to be a good teammate. Look, you could probably guess this from watching a gay episode of "Next," but homosexual men have far more exacting standards when it comes to physical appearance than straight women do. I've never been to Muscle Beach, but I can't imagine it doing more damage to my self-image than going to the West Hollywood L.A. Fitness already has. Let's be real: Stanley Roberts would be the loneliest gay man alive.If I were a GM, not only would I completely accept a gay guy on my roster, I would actively try to find one. If John Amaechi came out while he was still an active player, hopefully he would choose to do once someone other than Larry Miller was signing his paychecks. And if he did, I guarantee you he'd be an All Star, and probably a Hall of Famer. Think for a second- the guy plays center. His opponent posts up in the paint, and all of a sudden, he's trying to box out by putting his butt into a homosexual's crotch. If that above article is any indication, that guy will go as far away from the basket as possible to avoid this. If openly gay, John Amaechi would neutralize any post presence. Even on the offensive end, it works. We saw what happened when Magic came back to play in the All-Star Game after he admitted having HIV. No one would go within six feet of him. Most NBA players probably assume all gay guys have the high-five anyways, so what would stop Amaechi from scoring at least 30 a game? Bill Simmons was totally wrong again; an openly gay John Amaechi could totally be the next Bill Russell.But even off the court, having Amaechi around would've worked. Look, I'm not saying that NBA players have trouble pulling tail. But John Amaechi's gay and he's British. By my calculations, that would probably put him in contact with the kind of chicks that probably aren't hanging outside the locker room, ready to blow Peja Stojakovic right when he walks off the court after playing 42 minutes if it lets her get closer to Chris Paul. Maybe it's me, but I assume that most NBA players will eventually get tired of passing around the last three years of XXL's Eye Candies of the Month. I mean, would you hit it if there was a chance Michael Finley got to it first? Virginia Cavaliers NCAA Basketball - Sport Snipe - Team News - Stats - Updates http://www.sportsnipe.com/main_sportsnews/2941372/kill-your-television.html Nothing like a little Ned's Atomic Dustbin to start your Saturday off right, no?Don't quote me on this, but doesn't the average person watch some ridonkulous amount of TV per day? Like, 7-8 hours or something? I always take those studies with a grain of salt because you never know about sample size and as Homer Simpson once put it, people can come up with statistics to prove anything, Kent. Forfty percent of all people know that. I'd be lying if I said my men weren't committing crimesBut mostly, it comes down to the fact that you'd literally have to come home from work, turn on the TV and not stop until you eventually go to sleep in a Michelob/Funyon-induced daze. While I'm sure there are plenty of people who are into that kind of thing, I think there are a lot of people like me who simply don't watch a lot of TV.I feel conflicted about saying that I don't watch a lot of TV (or didn't watch a lot of TV, as I later explain). Whenever someone makes a point about "oh, I don't watch TV," I automatically (and most of the time, correctly) assume that this person is a complete douchebag. Because you never say that kind of thing without trying to imply, "yeah, I don't watch TV because I spend all my free time reading Tolstoy and being all cultured and shit...so, are you gonna make out with me or what?" It's a little different for me, because when I say I don't watch a lot of TV, I use the term "TV" to mean "non-sports programming." I'll sit and watch six straight hours of college football like it's nothing, but I barely could get past thirty minutes of prime time sitcoms. And moreover, for the last three years, I was in law school, which imbues you with the guilt of always having something you could do, and probably should do. You could really be finished with all of your reading, and yet, you still could benefit from studying or outlining or polishing up your resume (later, this would change to "blogging"). This is no longer the case right now, and three nights out of the week, I have an hour cordoned off for my "stories." "House," "24" and "Grey's Anatomy" are certainly different in approach, but they're all tied together by one characteristic: they all require Herculean suspension of disbelief.For "24," it's pretty obvious why. Combine your skepticism surrounding the continuing triumphs of James Bond and McGyver, and you've got what it takes to pick up what Jack Bauer's throwin' down. Two on the waist, two on the ankle, two to just spank youAnd I'm not the first guy to mention this, but Wayne Palmer is threatening to knock Warren Harding out of the ranks of "worst president ever" in spite of being a fictional character. Let the punishment fit the crime. Some people have argued that "24" is hawkish because it legitimizes the use of torture and almost always portrays foreigners as being the terrorists. But I think it has a Republican agenda for more subtle reasons; Palmer is singlehandedly setting back the cause of electing a black president by about a century. Barak Obama could run against Mark Foley in 2008, and all we'd be thinking about is that speech Palmer gave when rejecting Tom's proposal.Palmer is the pres, but I voted for Shirley Chisholm"House" is different in that the formula the show follows has become so strict, that it's almost like watching science fiction instead of a medical drama. I'm not sure how quickly word spreads around that part of the country, but I imagine some newspaper or magazine would've got the scoop on the amazing shit this guy does. I'm waiting for the episode when one of his patients says, "look, I'm completely prepared for all the unnecessary surgery I'll be getting while you eventually find the real problem. Can you just make sure I'm doped up real good in the meantime?"Don't blow my high when I'm sippin' on purple rainBut when it comes down to it, no show requires a greater suspension of disbelief than "Grey's Anatomy." And with that, I've officially made it OK for women to read my blog again. But really, no show infuriates me in the unique way "Grey's" does. I enjoy watching it, but I really wish I could channel the energy I spend trying to constantly suspend my disbelief into something that could help humanity, like making Cisco more readily available. In the debate as to whether "House" or "Grey's" has more credibility, I side with "House" every time. It has nothing to do with either show's scientific accuracy or inordinately attractive medical staffs. It comes down to this: based on these two shows, Seattle is the worst city to live in America. Comparatively, "The Wire" looks like it was made by the Baltimore Board of Tourism. How can that be? I've never been to Seattle, but it seems like the kind of place everyone wants to move to. It's actually third in line, but it's more sensible than the usual alternative desirables, those being Portland (Seattle's got more job opportunities) and Vancouver (do you really have the balls to move to Canada)? And yet, New Jersey looks infinitely more attractive than the Emerald City based on their medical dramas. Yeah, Princeton's got worse scenery and it's usually cold, but at least the medical atrocities are the individual type. Meanwhile, if we're to take "Grey's" on its word, it's got more mass casualty events than Beirut, up to and including train wrecks, utterly absurd bomb scares and now, ferry boat disasters. Not to mention the dozens of metaphors that are completely brutalized by the show on a weekly basis.Worse yet, you'd better hope you don't have a coed team working on you. Because at some point, they'll leave you open on the table because the chick realizes that she's working with the only male in the hospital she hasn't given head to yet; so she better get on that. It's even worse if you're black. Once again, if I'm to take "Grey's" on its word, either black people (particularly couples) are exponentially more likely to suffer major injuries, or Seattle's population is 75% African-American. And we all know the latter ain't true. And that's before you get to the staff itself. As one of my Seattle connects put it, you can easily tell "Grey's Anatomy" is fiction because the only two corporations that employ more than four black people at a time are the Supersonics and the Seahawks. Besides that, they're wholly unrealistic, particularly in a physical sense. If you are employed by Seattle Grace, there's a good chance ya ass is either gon' get shot, stabbed or knuckled down, one of the three, so don't gamble wit' your life, duke.Definitely got the gat on meAdd to that list, "nearly drowned." Or "having the ability to lift concrete pylons." And yet, they pop right back up for more as if nothing happened. In the end, despite Shonda Rhimes' attempt to portray a medical staff as diverse and emotionally open as possible, these aren't surgeons: these are Nazi ubermensch.UPDATEMore news from the Seattle correspondent of Sexy Results!:But commuters like my father ride that thing everyday, and to my knowledge the worst injury that ever occurred on the ferry was a sprained ankle. It in fact it did crash at one point into a marina on Bainbridge (I think the captain was drunk) and has collided with another ferry in the fog, but again no real medical emergencies emerged from that. Because of all of this, I was already amused when I saw Merideth fall off the pier. When I saw that "dramatic" "to be continued moment", I wanted to hurl because that pier is only 8-15 feet off the water (depending on the tide). Therefore, the worst injury she should get from the fall were some wet panties. Also, good thing I waited on writing that Virginia basketball post, what with us getting the business from Seth Greenbergsteinwitzberg. Virginia Cavaliers NCAA Basketball - Sport Snipe - Team News - Stats - Updates http://www.sportsnipe.com/main_sportsnews/2941371/we-hug-block-on-presidents-day.html Gettin' that money the American wayNope. Not gonna write that "UVA is on some Jada, Styles and Sheek Louch shit" post. Just gonna let that slide until March.Anyways, having spent seven of my last eight years in some sort of educational program, I had no idea just how many people don't have to work on Presidents Day, despite it registering somewhere on the holiday scale between Flag Day and Task Force Tuesday. I work at a talent agency. I have the day off. My gal works at a public university. She does not. Sounds about right.So, I've honored the holiday the best way I know how, mostly by watching episode after episode of "24" (currently, I'm watching Lou Diamond Phillips at his most icy) and walking down Sunset to Ralph's because driving there wouldn't kill enough time. After doing such, I have to say: I completely underestimated the promotional muscle behind "300" (no Hardaway). My preparedness for glory is off the fucking charts right now. It's the pot of gold right here man this is it, man this is glory(Update: listening to "Why You Hate The Game," it's dawning on me: why does Nas sound so nice on jams that are about 8 minutes or better?) Virginia Cavaliers NCAA Basketball - Sport Snipe - Team News - Stats - Updates http://www.sportsnipe.com/main_sportsnews/2941370/youre-at-all-baller.html Locks get lazy and lose to MiamiFuck this. Not the mood I need to be in before I see Dave Attel at the Improv and then Ghostface at the Key Club. Those are pretty much the brackets of the Sexy Results! aesthetic, no? The club says Starks will be onstage at midnight, meaning I'll be lucky if he's up there before next Tuesday. Virginia Cavaliers NCAA Basketball - Sport Snipe - Team News - Stats - Updates http://www.sportsnipe.com/main_sportsnews/2941369/yall-respect-one-who-got-shot-i-shooter.html I'm afraid of the futureThey're not gonna make it easy for any of us, will they? Such is the nature of Virginia basketball in the 21st century where you can have ten conference wins and spend all of your time waiting for the other shoe to drop. Yeah, that's a six-point win against the bubblicious Yellow Jackets, but that's also the second time they've had to pull a a ridonkulous game-ending run (13-0 today, 15-0 against Clemson) to secure something they had no business winning. Here's hoping 30's the new 20 in the RPI. Actually, I'm comforted a bit by UVA slipping out of the 4/5/6 seed that most projections had them at before they lost to Miami. Did you see some of those matchups? We were up against Santa Clara, Xavier and Winthrop more times than I can remember. And if those scenarios actually panned out, the Hoos would be the biggest "mortal lock for every first-round upset pick" in the history of college basketball. Or at least since the last UVA team to make the tournament; thanks to those guys, the seeding committee realized they should never make Gonzaga a #12 seed ever again. Maybe as a #7, we can get one of those big-conference teams that tanked the latter portion of the year (USC, Alabama, Michigan State) and a #2 that clearly doesn't deserve it (Kansas?). In other news, there's nothing more sobering than hearing "Sittin' Up In My Room" at the gas station and realizing that Brandy has actually killed someone in the city where you live.Also, if you read this blog, can you please write to Electronic Arts and beg them not to put LaDainian Tomlinson on the cover of Madden '08? I know he's an obvious choice and it might momentarily cheer him up, but he's dealt with enough shit already this offseason. If he's the coverboy, he'll be framed for murder by October.Virtua Fighter 5 on PS3, The Besnard Lakes, John Caparulo (the funniest dude I've seen live since Lewis Black blazed UVA right after the 2000 elections), Dungen's new album and Trader Joe's BBQ Chicken Salad: file under "The Realest Of All Deals." Virginia Cavaliers NCAA Basketball - Sport Snipe - Team News - Stats - Updates http://www.sportsnipe.com/main_sportsnews/2941368/orange-overcome-another-13-point-deficit.html After a shaky first-half, Syracuse comes from behind to defeat Virginia 73-70 in front of 22,096 at the Carrier Dome Friday night Virginia Cavaliers NCAA Basketball - Sport Snipe - Team News - Stats - Updates http://www.sportsnipe.com/main_sportsnews/2941367/reed-leads-tigers-to-road-win-vs-cavaliers.html Junior guard DeWayne Reed made big offensive and defensive plays down the stretch as Auburn defeated Virginia. Virginia Cavaliers NCAA Basketball - Sport Snipe - Team News - Stats - Updates http://www.sportsnipe.com/main_sportsnews/2941366/1on1-oliver-purnell.html CLEMSON - Don Munson talks with Clemson head coach Oliver Purnell 1-on-1 for a preview of Sunday's game at Virginia. Virginia Cavaliers NCAA Basketball - Sport Snipe - Team News - Stats - Updates http://www.sportsnipe.com/main_sportsnews/2941365/box-virginia-85-clemson-81.html Stats from Sunday's loss to Virginia at John Paul Jones Arena. Virginia Cavaliers NCAA Basketball - Sport Snipe - Team News - Stats - Updates http://www.sportsnipe.com/main_sportsnews/2941364/tigers-fall-to-lowly-cavs.html Life near the top of the ACC has been anything but kind to No. 12 Clemson in the last eight days, especially after Sunday's loss at lowly Virginia. Virginia Cavaliers NCAA Basketball - Sport Snipe - Team News - Stats - Updates http://www.sportsnipe.com/main_sportsnews/2941363/photos-tigers-upset-by-virginia.html Images from Sunday's overtime loss to Virginia. (courtesy of the Associated Press) Virginia Cavaliers NCAA Basketball - Sport Snipe - Team News - Stats - Updates http://www.sportsnipe.com/main_sportsnews/2941362/cutigerstv-one-last-stand.html CLEMSON - Don Munson previews the final home game of the season for the No. 19 Clemson basketball team. Virginia Cavaliers NCAA Basketball - Sport Snipe - Team News - Stats - Updates http://www.sportsnipe.com/main_sportsnews/2941361/big-night-for-rivers-sykes.html CLEMSON - It was just after practice Monday at Littlejohn Coliseum when K.C. Rivers stood at center court surrounded by his teammates and took one last look. Virginia Cavaliers NCAA Basketball - Sport Snipe - Team News - Stats - Updates http://www.sportsnipe.com/main_sportsnews/2941360/notes-tigers-dump-cavs.html Notes after Clemson's 75-57 win over Virginia Tuesday night at Littlejohn Coliseum. Virginia Cavaliers NCAA Basketball - Sport Snipe - Team News - Stats - Updates http://www.sportsnipe.com/main_sportsnews/2941359/box-clemson-75-virginia-57.html CLEMSON - Stats from Tuesday night's 18-point win over Virginia. Virginia Cavaliers NCAA Basketball - Sport Snipe - Team News - Stats - Updates http://www.sportsnipe.com/main_sportsnews/2941358/purnell-postgame-comments.html CLEMSON - Listen to head coach Oliver Purnell after Tuesday night's win over Virginia. Virginia Cavaliers NCAA Basketball - Sport Snipe - Team News - Stats - Updates http://www.sportsnipe.com/main_sportsnews/2941357/reaction-tigers-dump-cavs.html CLEMSON - Don Munson weighs in with reaction from Clemson's 18-point win over Virginia. Virginia Cavaliers NCAA Basketball - Sport Snipe - Team News - Stats - Updates http://www.sportsnipe.com/main_sportsnews/2941356/reaction-tigers-thump-cavs.html CLEMSON - Reaction from Clemson's thumping of Virginia Saturday afternoona at Littlejohn Coliseum. Virginia Cavaliers NCAA Basketball - Sport Snipe - Team News - Stats - Updates http://www.sportsnipe.com/main_sportsnews/2941355/murphy-matures-physically-amp-mentally.html Kimari Murphy came into his own over the summer, playing with the Long Island Lightning-Dingle. Murphy is beginning to mature both physically and mentally evidenced by his thoughts toward recruitment. Virginia Cavaliers NCAA Basketball - Sport Snipe - Team News - Stats - Updates http://www.sportsnipe.com/main_sportsnews/2941354/east-coast-forward-landing-some-d1-interest.html Virginia Cavaliers NCAA Basketball - Sport Snipe - Team News - Stats - Updates http://www.sportsnipe.com/main_sportsnews/2941353/east-coast-senior-prospect-cuts-list.html Virginia Cavaliers NCAA Basketball - Sport Snipe - Team News - Stats - Updates http://www.sportsnipe.com/main_sportsnews/2876536/hokies-cavaliers-to-collide-in-acc-basketball-opener-daily-press-blog.html SB NationHokies, Cavaliers to collide in ACC basketball openerDaily Press (blog)Tech swept Virginia last season, winning 76-71 in overtime at John Paul Jones Arena, 61-55 at Cassell Coliseum. The Hokies are 7-6 against the Cavaliers ...Schedule upgrades for Hokies, CavaliersDaily Pressall 44 news articles » Virginia Cavaliers NCAA Basketball - Sport Snipe - Team News - Stats - Updates http://www.sportsnipe.com/main_sportsnews/2872484/before-you-boo-university-virginia-cavalier-daily.html Before you booUniversity of Virginia The Cavalier DailyYou know the plays they made ? or more likely, did not make ? on the field last year, but what do you know about the Cavaliers off the field? ... Virginia Cavaliers NCAA Basketball - Sport Snipe - Team News - Stats - Updates http://www.sportsnipe.com/main_sportsnews/2872483/before-you-boo-university-virginia-cavalier-daily.html Before you booUniversity of Virginia The Cavalier DailyYou know the plays they made ? or more likely, did not make ? on the field last year, but what do you know about the Cavaliers off the field? ... Virginia Cavaliers NCAA Basketball - Sport Snipe - Team News - Stats - Updates http://www.sportsnipe.com/main_sportsnews/2838488/mustwin-nonconference-game-uva-goldensportsnet-subscription.html Must-Win Non-Conference Game: UVAGoldenSports.net (subscription)One such game against the Virginia Cavaliers can be considered the ?must-win? game before the Gophers start their treacherous Big Ten season. ...and more » Virginia Cavaliers NCAA Basketball - Sport Snipe - Team News - Stats - Updates http://www.sportsnipe.com/main_sportsnews/2823457/pg-south-lebos-cwalina-growing-into-job-pittsburgh-post-gazette.html PG South: Lebo's Cwalina growing into jobPittsburgh Post GazetteIt's all made Virginia a very exciting place for Tim." Mike London is in his first season as head coach of the Cavaliers, who have had three losing seasons ... Virginia Cavaliers NCAA Basketball - Sport Snipe - Team News - Stats - Updates http://www.sportsnipe.com/main_sportsnews/2817913/should-ncaa-permit-football-exhibitions-daily-press.html Should NCAA permit football exhibitions?Daily PressVirginia's men's soccer team, the defending national champion, had exhibitions this summer against VCU, VMI and George Mason. The Cavaliers' women scheduled ...and more » Virginia Cavaliers NCAA Basketball - Sport Snipe - Team News - Stats - Updates http://www.sportsnipe.com/main_sportsnews/2816702/etsu-lady-bucs-announce-201011-hoops-schedule-tricitiessportscom.html TricitiesSports.comETSU Lady Bucs Announce 2010-11 Hoops ScheduleTricitiesSports.comComing off its third straight NCAA Tournament appearance, head ETSU women's basketball coach Karen Kemp once again has the Blue & Gold in for another ... Virginia Cavaliers NCAA Basketball - Sport Snipe - Team News - Stats - Updates http://www.sportsnipe.com/main_sportsnews/2816701/etsu-lady-bucs-announce-201011-hoops-schedule-tricitiessportscom.html TricitiesSports.comETSU Lady Bucs Announce 2010-11 Hoops ScheduleTricitiesSports.comComing off its third straight NCAA Tournament appearance, head ETSU women's basketball coach Karen Kemp once again has the Blue & Gold in for another ... Virginia Cavaliers NCAA Basketball - Sport Snipe - Team News - Stats - Updates http://www.sportsnipe.com/main_sportsnews/2797537/william-m-pandak-staunton-news-leader.html William M. PandakStaunton News LeaderHe became affectionately known as "Coach." He also umpired and refereed high school games all over Virginia. He spoke at national basketball camps. ... Virginia Cavaliers NCAA Basketball - Sport Snipe - Team News - Stats - Updates http://www.sportsnipe.com/main_sportsnews/2784213/uva-aiming-for-repeat-performance-richmond-times-dispatch.html U.Va. aiming for repeat performanceRichmond Times DispatchThe Cavaliers, who play host to VCU today in an exhibition, know that means they'll have to put last year's national title behind them. ... Virginia Cavaliers NCAA Basketball - Sport Snipe - Team News - Stats - Updates http://www.sportsnipe.com/main_sportsnews/2783134/east-coast-prospect-has-division-one-looks.html Virginia Cavaliers NCAA Basketball - Sport Snipe - Team News - Stats - Updates